Take a deep breath, and relax. It's over. At least.. that's what she told herself. After almost a year of confusion and not knowing what she was doing, weighing her decisions over and over again to try and make sense to herself and justifying her every move was no easy task, that was for sure, but now, she was doubting herself all over again. Did she play her cards right? Not really, no. She had to stack them back up and redistribute them to go for another round, but life is too short for that. It doesn't come with a remote control to rewind and pause to that exact second when the introduction happened. She knew she was a masochist. Or she wouldn't have let it go on for so long. She knew she could very well have the power and the control. If only she wasn't so weak and emotional.
So now, after many 'almost-ending-and-then-going-back-to-the-beginning's, almost-heartbreak and almost-a lot of other things, she decided she was through. There was never going to be a 'what if', what was done was done. She had made all the wrong choices, and now it was time to make the right one.
She was quite content with herself.
Wieder geht es von vorne los.
November 26, 2010
November 23, 2010
"Some boy cats are pretty consistent."
Songs that won't stop playing on loop in my head
I have this horrible tan from my Goa trip which refuses to go. It's mostly my face. I wish I'd carried some sunscreen. But it was an awesome trip.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't like the fact that I have so many friends that I am close to. There's just..too many people. It's claustrophobic. I love every one of them, or like a lot, even. But I don't like the scene.
You, Me and the Bourgeoisie - The Submarines
Lions - The Features
God Loves Ugly - Atmosphere I have this horrible tan from my Goa trip which refuses to go. It's mostly my face. I wish I'd carried some sunscreen. But it was an awesome trip.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't like the fact that I have so many friends that I am close to. There's just..too many people. It's claustrophobic. I love every one of them, or like a lot, even. But I don't like the scene.
November 13, 2010
The cupcake story.
I came up with this story rather spontaneously while BBMing a friend from Canada. I think it's a work of art. All those who disagree will go to hell and face the devil. You'll see what I'm talking about when you're done reading it.
Ok there was once a boy who liked cupcakes. So one day he went to the cupcake shop with his best friend. When he got there he realised he had no money. So he decided to go back home and make his friend wait at the store. But when he came back, his friend was nowhere to be seen. So he asked the employees at the store "have you guys seen my friend? He was here a while ago.",So the guy goes like 'um no sir there wasn't any such guy'. So he called his friend and it said 'the number you have dialled does not exist'. So this guy's really freaked out now. He calls up the cops and reports a missing person complaint and the cops tell him to calm down .Yeah so he goes home and his mom asks him what's wrong and she says you seem really tense so I'll give you sleeping pills. So he takes em but he still can't sleep because that was his best friend and he's missing. So he takes a couple more, overdoses and dies.
And then at the gates of hell, the devil meets him so the devil says,"you may enter because you have crossed your cupcake limit for this lifetime". So the guy is really offended, he's like what the fuck you can never eat TOO many cupcakes right?Right. So then the devil's like how dare you mess with me? and then they have a fight to settle it, And the devil gets pissed off so he curses him and sends him back to earth. But he curses him and says he'll never eat cupcakes again,So the dude's like omgwtf I'd rather rot in hell .But the devil sends him back..and then he decides to mess with the devil and goes to his favourite cupcake shop again. And when he goes there, what does he see? His best friend! :O And he's like duuuude where were you ? I almost died (lol get it :D) So then the dude's like I was waiting for you to get your money, Because I'm such a good friend and I had no food so I finished all the cupcakes and they were the last cupcakes to be ever made in the whole world..... "And that's what the devil said," said the best friend.And with an evil cackle he turned into the devil. ...And so the guy lived till he was 98 but never ate another cupcake in his life and died sadly. The end.
Ok there was once a boy who liked cupcakes. So one day he went to the cupcake shop with his best friend. When he got there he realised he had no money. So he decided to go back home and make his friend wait at the store. But when he came back, his friend was nowhere to be seen. So he asked the employees at the store "have you guys seen my friend? He was here a while ago.",So the guy goes like 'um no sir there wasn't any such guy'. So he called his friend and it said 'the number you have dialled does not exist'. So this guy's really freaked out now. He calls up the cops and reports a missing person complaint and the cops tell him to calm down .Yeah so he goes home and his mom asks him what's wrong and she says you seem really tense so I'll give you sleeping pills. So he takes em but he still can't sleep because that was his best friend and he's missing. So he takes a couple more, overdoses and dies.
And then at the gates of hell, the devil meets him so the devil says,"you may enter because you have crossed your cupcake limit for this lifetime". So the guy is really offended, he's like what the fuck you can never eat TOO many cupcakes right?Right. So then the devil's like how dare you mess with me? and then they have a fight to settle it, And the devil gets pissed off so he curses him and sends him back to earth. But he curses him and says he'll never eat cupcakes again,So the dude's like omgwtf I'd rather rot in hell .But the devil sends him back..and then he decides to mess with the devil and goes to his favourite cupcake shop again. And when he goes there, what does he see? His best friend! :O And he's like duuuude where were you ? I almost died (lol get it :D) So then the dude's like I was waiting for you to get your money, Because I'm such a good friend and I had no food so I finished all the cupcakes and they were the last cupcakes to be ever made in the whole world..... "And that's what the devil said," said the best friend.And with an evil cackle he turned into the devil. ...And so the guy lived till he was 98 but never ate another cupcake in his life and died sadly. The end.
November 11, 2010
Brilliance in music.
I listen to Sigur Ros after two or three months and it doesn't fail to give me the same old chills that I got the first time I heard them. It's pure genius, their music. No other band can compare to the kind of feeling their music gives you. I mean, the first time I heard them was probably back in March? The first song I heard was I Gaer. Slow chilling beats which lead to loud guitar and drums, but it's nothing like you've heard before. You listen to Sigur Ros and all you can think of is floating in the cold mountains. Sitting by a river, alone. Dandelion seeds flying around you. Stillness. Space, snow, rain. It's the kind of music that makes you feel like you're one with nature. I might sound really pretentious right here, but really, you'd only know if you ever heard one of their songs.
I was just listening to Hoppipolla. The scene that comes to my head is a big branched oak tree, next to a lake. Green grass everywere, fading to brown. Sitting on a makeshift swing tied to the tree, and throwing your head back and looking up at the sky everytime you swing back, and the swing forward again. The amount of times this song has given me company in empty buses and trains, made me feel like myself when I'm on a crowded street full of strangers, and I close my eyes and all I can think of is snow.
It's not happy music, though. It's the kind of music that makes you want to cry. You want to silently weep within yourself and hope nobody finds you, because it is just so damn beautiful. Music in a language you don't recognise, in the male singer's comforting falsetto, you just get the chills. Svefn-g-Englar reminds me of my first real kiss. Two hours before it happened, I remember lying down on my sofa, with the air conditioning on, mid-day, texting him, and listening to Svefn-g-Englar. Discussing Sigur Ros. Talking about how their music reminds him on floating and falling into nothingness, and how it reminds me of snow and mountaintops. Feathers floating softly down on the earth.
Take me to Hopeland.
I was just listening to Hoppipolla. The scene that comes to my head is a big branched oak tree, next to a lake. Green grass everywere, fading to brown. Sitting on a makeshift swing tied to the tree, and throwing your head back and looking up at the sky everytime you swing back, and the swing forward again. The amount of times this song has given me company in empty buses and trains, made me feel like myself when I'm on a crowded street full of strangers, and I close my eyes and all I can think of is snow.
It's not happy music, though. It's the kind of music that makes you want to cry. You want to silently weep within yourself and hope nobody finds you, because it is just so damn beautiful. Music in a language you don't recognise, in the male singer's comforting falsetto, you just get the chills. Svefn-g-Englar reminds me of my first real kiss. Two hours before it happened, I remember lying down on my sofa, with the air conditioning on, mid-day, texting him, and listening to Svefn-g-Englar. Discussing Sigur Ros. Talking about how their music reminds him on floating and falling into nothingness, and how it reminds me of snow and mountaintops. Feathers floating softly down on the earth.
Take me to Hopeland.
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